This Beautiful Inheritance: Trying to Avoid a Dream Deferred

Thursday, February 10, 2011

Trying to Avoid a Dream Deferred

As I mentioned yesterday, I have a new favorite blog, Rage Against The Mini Van. Cute huh? If you checked it out, and if you know me very well, you probably know why I like it. The woman who writes it has four children: two of them are biological and two are adopted. I am always drawn to families like this.

It has been a desire of mine for a long time to adopt. Tyler is equally passionate about it, and we have been basically just waiting, waiting, waiting until it was possible for us. Being in college and living in an on-campus apartment weren't very conducive to becoming adoptive parents, but now that we are a little more settled in life, it's being talked about around our house a lot more often.

In fact, Tuesday night I attended an adoption information meeting at Dillon International in North Little Rock.

Tyler and I have been trying to go to one of these meetings for months, but every single time one came up, he had to work. So finally, he told me to go without him, and I could tell him what I learned. I learned so much! For starters, I always thought that you had to be 25 years old to start the process of adoption (I'm only 24). False, they told me. We could start the process now, and as long as I was 25 before the baby was placed, it would be fine.

This was a bombshell for me. We could start the The dream of adopting was always easy to dream and talk about because it seemed so far off. But suddenly, it was more than just something to fantasize about. It was a process we could begin today, simply with the online application.

When I told Tyler this news, he was...himself. "Let's do it!" were his words. His way of thinking is...God says 'Care for orphans,' we're old enough now, what are we waiting on? (and on a side note, we are fully aware of the outrageous cost of international adoption. I plan to go into full-blown faith-filled fund-raising mode when we begin the process.)  I, on the other hand, start having a hundred different thoughts go through my mind.

Here are some of them.

I want more than two children. Should we wait until after having a second child to try and adopt? The adoption process is lengthy... at least two years. I've already got a pretty bad case of baby fever, and I don't know that I want to wait that long to have another child.

But if we have another biological child first, it may be even harder to adopt, financially. (In fact, to adopt from China you have to make X amount of money per year per person in your family, and if we had another child first, we wouldn't qualify.)

I guess, mainly, I'm just afraid that if we have another biological child, life will happen, it will get more expensive, and we'll just never revisit our dream of adopting; whereas, now, it's at the forefront of our minds.

For now, I know we just need to pray about it. But I would love your feedback on this issue. Please, leave comments.


  1. Kelcie, I've always wanted to adopt as well. I've never had the feeling to adopt a baby though. There are so many older children who are passed from orphanage to orphanage that need a permanent home. When, I said the other day that I don't plan to physically have anymore but would adopt one that is already potty trained, I was serious but being humerus at the same time.

    We will keep you in our prayers as you make this tough decision.

  2. Kelcie, that is awesome that you all are wanting to adopt! Good luck and I'll be praying for through this journey. I thank God every day for my little Aubrey!!!! Love, Kristi

  3. Kelcie, you should get on Bethany Christian Services, if you haven't already. It is a great Christian adoption agency that has very detailed info on international adoption, as well as domestic. God has Obviously given you the heart for this. We just have to pray for His time and will.

  4. Adopting is a very very sweet passion. I, like Kourtney, want to adopt a child that LONGS for a permanent mommy and daddy. Do you remember when THV did that adoption series? There was a little boy on there that stole my heart. I would just lay in bed wanting to go pick him up and become his permanent mom! You just have a big heart! That is what I love about you! God will provide in his timing! He always does! I will be praying for you!

  5. I know this is a passion of y'all. You and i have talked about it several times here an there. Like u. We would like to adopt one day to. There is something about giving a child a permanent family and live and support. I will be praying for y'all. I understand its expensive and such. But i think God has given you both a desire in your hearts for this. Im sure he will lead you both in the right direction if you pray for his guidence.

    Good luck. Ill be praying


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