The Course Set Before Me

A couple nights ago I finally started reading a book my sister got me for Christmas, "Kisses From Katie." I've been staring at it week after week, wanting to read it, but having trouble just finding the time. Well I'm finally two chapters in, and I can already tell it's going to be a life-changer. I absolutely LOVE books like this. If I'm honest, one true story has more impact on me than a 100 Biblical teaching books.

http://www.amazima.org/katiesbook.html

If you're not familiar with "Kisses From Katie," it's about a young woman from Nashville who gave up the dreams she and her parents had for her life and moved to Uganda right after graduating high school. She is now 23 (or 24?) years old and has adopted 13 Ugandan children! I don't yet know all the details, but I know that she is a young, single woman raising more than a dozen children from distraught backgrounds in a culture as opposite from her own as any could be. In her book, she writes about her first weeks living in this new country. In her closet-sized room, she lived with a giant rat, malaria-infested mosquitoes, roaches and more. Now she lives with all these beautiful yet needy children, and in my human mind, I have a hard time understanding how anyone could take on such a task.

In a recent blog post, she described a typical day as the mother of these children. Like me, she finds herself hoping that she'll come home to a house full of behaving children, clean laundry and enough time to snuggle together on the couch. Instead, kids are fighting, babies are sick and things are dirty. And time left to snuggle on the couch just isn't there.

I feel like that is my life every day.

Except I only have two children.

Transitioning from one child to two has been wonderful. But it has also brought a lot of change. Every single day, I feel extremely behind, and I've decided I may never catch up on all there is to do. Skipping out for a fun day outing like Eden and I used to do is a rare, rare occurrence. So is reading, writing, exercising and more.

I used to think I wanted a house full of children. Now I wonder if I'm even cut out for this job. I think of women like Katie, raising 13 extremely needy children in the hardest of circumstances. And I'm not sure why having two in comfortable, rural America is so hard.

Still, she challenges me to keep going. If she can handle the course God has set before her, I can surely handle mine. Some days I have my doubts, but then the next day comes, and we're all here and well.

So I'll keep going, drawing inspiration from Katie and others like her, yet trying to remember that God has given each of us our own calling. I may not be cut out for 13. And maybe that's ok. For now, I'll do the best I can with my two. Because, for now, that's all He's called me to anyway. And for now, it sounds like a pretty great calling.