I have always struggled to come up with New Year's Resolutions or "One Little Word" for the New Year. I have spent many December 31sts pondering words and failing to find anything that resonates with me. "Why are other people so good at this?" I've wondered. "Do I lack ambition? Introspection? Is my vocabulary too limited??"
I have made a few resolutions before, but at most of those I've failed too. (I did keep one this year -- "Have a Baby." Check!)
But mostly I just float from one year into the next with no clear lines... January 1st is simply another page in the same book.
You've probably noticed that I haven't blogged in a while. In fact, I think it's safe to say until today, this blog was dead. I had a baby six months ago, and I can't tell you exactly why, but after that I lost all motivation to write. Yes, I am stretched thin with three kids, but I think I'm also just burned out. I have been blogging for seven years, and while I have LOVED it and all the opportunities and relationships it has brought me, to everything there is a season, and I am now confident the season for This Beautiful Inheritance is coming to a close.
In the last few months I have told people on several occasions, "I feel like I have so many plates spinning in the air and half of them are dropping and shattering." This blog was one of those shattered plates, and while I've been tempted to hurriedly pick up the pieces and put them back together, I don't feel that's what I'm supposed to do. I strongly feel like it is time to let this go, to move on with my life, and to focus on other things.
Right after Christmas I saw someone post on social media asking what others' biggest accomplishments this year had been. It got me to thinking. And then someone else posted about decluttering their home and how we all have too much "stuff." That got me to thinking too. And for the last few days I have been thinking and thinking and thinking. Amid the thinking it dawned on me that my oldest child is seven years old. She is over a third of the way grown! One third of my raising her is already done. What have I accomplished with her so far?
In the last few days I feel like God has been revealing some things to me about how I spend my days (because that's how I spend my life) and what I want for our future as a family. And He gave me a Word!!! My word for 2017 is...... drum roll please........
Intentional. I want to be intentional! When I get on social media, I want it to be for an intentional purpose, not to mindlessly scroll and waste time. I want to read books! I want to listen to sermons. I want to get back to doing devotionals with my girls. I want to get on my knees and pray! I want to write down goals and action steps to achieving them.
There was a time when I felt like this blog fit right in with my goals and intentions. I have always hoped to encourage and challenge moms in their daily mom lives while also documenting my family's story. But for whatever reason, I don't currently feel the same call to this place on the web. It requires so much upkeep and promotion and time on social media, and right now I feel that time could be more valuable elsewhere.
For the first time in many months, I feel excited about what the future holds for my family. I am tired of living in survival mode. So I'm going to do something about it. I have started filling a notebook with goals and prayer needs and visions and action steps. God doesn't just want us to survive. He wants us to thrive!
I will always treasure the memories of writing on this blog and being able to encourage moms. It will always remind me of a sweet season of life when I had two little girls at home and was neck deep in the toddler/preK years. But I am excited to lay it down and be intentional in this season about my own walk with God and my family. I can't say what the future holds... I can see me picking up blogging again some day. But the fact is, I can't minister from a dry well, and I need at least a year to refill. Thank you, friends, for being faithful to read and to encourage me in what I did here on the blog! It was always because of you that I kept going.
Here's to all of us being intentional in our next season of life!
"For everything there is a season, a time for every activity under heaven." Ecclesiastes 3:1